


Kevin Lost the Flight, Kyouko and Byakuya Lost their Dignity

by Walpurgisnacht



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types
Genre: Dorks being Dorks part II, Humor, Wet Winter at the Future Foundation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-23
Updated: 2020-09-23
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:07:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26614216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Walpurgisnacht/pseuds/Walpurgisnacht
Summary: This is a very silly story, without any pretense of being taken seriously. Don't do it, we're warning you.The title is a homage to Home Alone.
Relationships: Fukawa Touko/Togami Byakuya, Kirigiri Kyoko/Naegi Makoto
Comments: 2
Kudos: 22





	Kevin Lost the Flight, Kyouko and Byakuya Lost their Dignity

“You know we shouldn’t be here.”  
“And yet here we are… doing a lot of things we shouldn’t even think about.”  
“If we are caught we will face so much trouble… among other things.”  
She smirked, getting closer to him. Very close.  
“I’ll take the risk, Togami. Or you want to… stop?”  
“Never, Kirigiri” he replied, prodding his glasses up his nose. “A Togami never refuses a challenge” he smirked back.  
Kyouko shook her head. Some things never change.  
Others, however, may change drastically.

Rumors spread like a wildfire.  
It didn’t take long for the whole Future Foundation to be caught in a web of gossip and people that swore to have seen them, wondering when the truth would come out.  
When finally Makoto Naegi would acknowledge it.  
“Are you ok, Naegicchi?”  
“Of course I am, Hagakure-kun. Why shouldn't I?”  
“Well… given the current situation, and everyone talkin’ ab-OUCH! Asahina-chi, that hurt!”  
“Then shut your mouth, you dingus” she growled at him, then looked at the once Luckster: “But really, Naegi-kun… are you ok? Do you want to talk?”  
He smiled, albeit a sad smile: “I’m ok, Asahina-san, really. But I appreciate the thought. I can bear those… lies” he mumbled, looking at his rice bowl. Lunch never looked so unappealing. “I wonder how Fukawa-san is reacting though…”  
“You’re right. Maybe we should check on her?”

“Come on, Touko-chan. Give me those scissors!”  
“I’m okay, Komaru. Really.”  
“No you aren’t.”  
“I. AM. OKAY.”  
“Then why are you stabbing your desk?”  
Touko looked down at all those marks on the wood. “I’m… nervous. Just a bit.”  
Komaru cautiously approached the Writer, removing the scissors from her friend’s hands: “Oookay, let me take these…”  
Naegi and Asahina looked at them, worried: “I suppose you heard it too..” he sighed.  
“Of course I heard it! N-no one cares for me, unless they want me to suffer…” she growled. “But I should have imagined it… he probably still thinks I’m n-not enough for him!”  
Komaru smiled, trying to cheer her up: “Oh don’t be silly! Togami-kun loves you!”  
“I SWEAR TO GOD IF THOSE RUMORS ARE TRUE THERE WILL BE NO MORE TOGAMIS LEFT ON THIS EARTH!”  
She didn’t succeed, though.  
“C’mon!” Asahina said with her boisterous tone of voice “We don’t really know if it’s real or not. Am I the only one who thinks it’s too early to jump to conclusions? Besides, it’s Togami-kun and Kyouko-chan we’re talking about, we all know they barely stand each other. And you’re telling me they’re having an affair? When every one of their confrontations devolves into a dispute about who’s the smartest, the most accomplished and the overall best? THEM, Ray of Sunshine and Little Miss Scarlet, are having an affair? I won’t believe it even if I see it with my own two eyes”.  
“She’s right!” Komaru confirmed “I know Kirigiri-san, at least enough to say she’s not the unfaithful type. What’s more…”.  
“You can’t be so sure!”. Everyone looked at Fukawa “The whole office wouldn’t be so aflame if they… I don’t know, played chess or something. There must be some sliver of truth to that, especially if they were seen exiting together from the 14th”.  
“They were? Really? I didn’t catch that part. Is it true?”.  
“You’re asking the wrong person”.  
They talked about it for a bit more, then they unanimously and silently decided to let it drop to respect Fukawa’s and Naegi’s emotional turmoil. It was obvious they were in a lot of pain, their awkward attempts to mask it not even remotely working out.  
They surely felt hurt and betrayed by the ones they loved the most, Asahina thought. It was a depressing sight, more so in Fukawa’s case. That poor girl was just beginning to heal from all the trauma, physical and not, she suffered in her youth and a blow so powerful would be devastating if proven true.  
_Let’s hope it’s not like it seems._  
With the main topic dropped, she and the other two left the archives. Komaru elected to stay behind to “make sure she doesn’t wildly swing that scissors of hers at his treacherous face”.  
This whole thing was making her feel gloomy for self-explanatory reasons. So she decided she wasn’t in the mood for work and opted to go and grab a bag of donuts from the vending machine.  
As fate would have it, she saw them. Togami and Kirigiri.  
They were in front of the aforementioned vending machines.  
They were unusually close.  
They were whispering to each other.  
_OHMYGOD._  
She scurried behind the corner from where she came, hoping they didn’t see her. She was tempted to imitate a scene from an old American sitcom, where a character saw something she deemed terrible and started screaming “My eyes! My eyes! They’re burning!” while covering them.  
_It can’t… it can’t be…_  
Kyouko got even closer to him, whispering something to Togami’s ear (Aoi groaned because she would have liked to know what she was telling him), smirking… it almost hurt to admit it, but from an aesthetic point of view, they were gorgeous together. She was beautiful, tall, mysterious and incredibly smart. Togami…  
_Uuuh..._  
Okay, he had the most annoying personality she ever had the displeasure to meet, but he was objectively handsome. Tall, blond with blue eyes, Byakuya Togami didn’t look Japanese at all except for his name (his pride and joy, since he never wasted an opportunity to remind everyone). And, it had to be said, even his attitude was better than years ago. A bit better.  
_Okay but this isn’t a proof, nor an excuse for a love affair!_  
Aoi shaked her head and glanced at them again. It seemed they didn’t notice her.  
Good.  
Her plan was simple: following them for a while, in the hope to discover the truth. And hopefully give good news to her friends.  
_And if I discover that it’s exactly what it seems…_  
...well, she will figure out something.

“Why are you smirking like that, Kirigiri?”  
“Behind us, the corridor on the right. Quick, before she notices you.”  
Togami did as she said and glanced over his shoulder. “Asahina? What is she doing there?”  
Kyouko quietly drinked her coffee: “She’s spying on us. She has been hidden behind that corner for at least ten minutes now.”  
“And why is she spying on us?”  
“Beats me.”  
“Our Super Detective can’t solve a mystery? Are you getting older, Kirigiri?”  
“Your joke doesn’t make any sense, you know so damn well I don’t say anything until I have enough evidence in my hands” she quietly answered. “And you’re older than me.”  
“By five months only.”  
“Still older than me.”  
He groaned. She smirked again.  
Kyouko often wondered if their quarrels were reaching the lowest levels of childishness. But in all honesty, she really didn’t care. She has fun bickering with Togami. Mostly because she usually won most of the time.  
Okay, _all_ the time.  
_His pissed face is really a joy to see._  
Speaking of faces to see, she quickly glanced at the corridor.  
_You’re still here, uh?_  
For some reason, the idea of Aoi following them amused her to no end. Probably because she thought she would have gone unnoticed.  
_Oh, Asahina. You’re so adorably naive._  
But there was something else, something she couldn’t pinpoint yet. The Swimmer’s concerned expression told her there was a deeper reason. And she was ready to discover it.  
_Just… not yet._  
“Hey, wanna play a little game?”  
Togami raised a brow: “Explain.”  
“I’m sure there’s a reason as to why Asahina is following us, and I want to know it” she whispered, “but first I want to have some fun.”  
“Define ‘fun’.”  
“Something you haven't had in ages, it seems.”  
“Ah. Ah. Ah. I’m laughing out loud.”  
“You know the internet slang? I’m impressed.”  
“It’s your soon-to-be sister in law’s second language, apparently. I learned it against my will.”  
Kyouko almost snorted at the idea of Togami talking like a fifteen years old on social media. “Well, my idea is” she said, after having regained her composure “to roam around the Future Foundation for a while, without a real destination. I want to see how long she will last.”  
“...we don’t have too much work to do today, after all” he smirked. “Shall we go?”  
“Of course” she answered, smiling at him.  
_Let the game begin._

Asahina tailed them for quite a long time when they began to move. She really tried her best to remain hidden in the shadows (the neons on the ceiling weren’t exactly helpful in that regard), but some parts of her knew it was a futile attempt. She was trying to outdo the Ultimate Detective in a matter of following a suspect, it was an arduous task.  
_Whatever. I don’t care if she knows, I have to be sure._  
She had to be sure. Because all she saw was the two of them talking, albeit really really close one to the other, and it wasn’t nearly enough to truly give credit to the rumors. After all, it wasn’t like Kirigiri and Togami were on a _we don’t speak to each other_ basis.  
They spoke to one another. They surely spoke to one another. Their endless, grueling duels for moral supremacy were always a sight to behold. So what she saw wasn’t anything particularly out of the ordinary.  
What really worried her was the whispering.  
Like… like they had a secret to keep.  
And if that secret was what the whole office was talking about…  
_No no no no no no. Be like Thomas the Apostle. Believe only in your eyes and your ears._  
One reading of the Bible and he was the one person she remembered the most.  
The endeavor was long, tiring and ultimately… well, fruitless. Those two were walking around aimlessly, it seemed, and didn’t make one conspicuous act of treachery towards their respective significant others.  
And then she saw Munakata approaching them. The esteemed deputy of the whole Foundation asked something of them, something she couldn’t hear because of the distance she was keeping, and they followed him. Of course she followed the followers. But who watches the watchmen?

“Why is Asahina…”.  
“Don’t ask, Munakata-san. She’s been strange this whole day, we don’t know why”.  
“I bet she wants to borrow some money from me”.  
“And put up such a charade instead of asking you directly? Please Togami, don’t be stupid. Sometimes even you can avoid these low points”.  
“A Togami’s low point is sky high compared to a commoner’s like you”.  
“Yeah, sure. Then you wake up, all sweaty”.  
“I want to wash my hands. I am innocent of your blood”.  
“Nobody is bleeding, Munakata-san”.  
“...your student’s file said you were brilliant, Togami. My experience says something completely different”.

The chase ended in bitter defeat in front of Munakata’s office. She couldn’t barge in and make a scene just to satisfy her curiosity.  
_This is the end. At least for now, because I’m not giving up._  
Then she found herself walking back to her office. Her workload was anxiously waiting for her on the desk and it wasn’t going anywhere, except maybe her bedroom if she continued to delay.  
_I’m lucky my boss has a less than stellar work ethic._  
And with a loud grumble Aoi Asahina momentarily abandoned her quest for truth, justice and the Japanese way.  
The day was extremely slow, extremely tedious and extremely not entertaining. Her mind raced with possibilities, from the most innocent ones ( _“Who gave you that idea, Asahina? We would never do such a scandalous thing!”_ ) to the very creepy and horrible ones ( _“Yes, I’m his mistress. And I like to use my whip in our sex sessions. That and large quantities of latex, wax and vaseline”_ ). No way she could focus on her papers with such thoughts riding on her hippocampus like it was a mechanical bull and doing a foul imitation of John Wayne. How she knew about John Wayne was its own long, complicated story and we’ll tell it another time.  
Finally, it was evening.  
_Time to go home._  
Aoi arched her back and stretched out her muscles, already thinking of that long, hot bath she was eager to have, and all the donuts she would have eaten after dinner.  
_Maybe I can text Kimura-chan…_  
She absent-mindedly giggled at the idea.  
Kyouko and Byakuya, and their supposedly liaison, kinda slipped out of her mind. Not that she completely forgot about them, but they disappeared after Munakata intercepted them and she then found herself stuck in her office. With nothing to do, since her boss was almost a ghost, but still… she had to put her plan on hold.  
_Tomorrow. Tomorrow I’ll resume it._  
The very moment she thought that, she spotted Kyouko and Togami near the exit.  
Except…  
_They’re not going out. They’re going back… inside?_  
Sighing at the idea of canceling all her plans for the night, she instinctively followed them inside the building. It seemed they were heading back to the 14th offices, but no one else would have been there…  
_...but them._  
She nervously bit her lower lip. That wasn’t a proof of an affair, or anything like that. They could have another reason for that, maybe one of them forgot the cellphone on their desk?  
_And they would go back together just for that?_  
Maybe they needed to work late.  
_Again?_  
From this new point of view, every time they had to stay late for work now seemed suspicious.  
Suddenly, lights went out.  
_Oh, fantastic._  
It was just the corridor light that went off, but if she turned it on they would have noticed someone was following them. And Kyouko and Togami didn’t seem to be bothered by the sudden darkness, their office was near anyway.  
_Just be careful, Aoi, and everything will be fine…_  
She kept walking, as silently as she was capable of, when…  
SBONK!  
_OUCH! My head!_  
She had been fast enough to not scream, but the same couldn’t be said about who or what she gave a head butt.  
“Ouuch, my poor head! Who did it?!”  
“K-Komaru?”  
“Hey! Someone’s there?”  
_Fuck!_  
Without wasting time, she grabbed Komaru and dragged her behind the corner she came from, covering her mouth with her free hand: “Shhh, I’m Aoi!” she whispered. “Stay quiet or they will hear us!”  
They both fell silent, as they heard footsteps coming near them.  
“Who’s there?”  
_Of course it’s you, Kyouko-chan._  
“Come on, Kirigiri. We don’t have time for this.”  
Silence, then Kyouko went back. The sound of a door that is being opened, then closed.  
Aoi sighed and let Komaru go. The latter jumped on her feet and grabbed the Swimmer by her wrist: “We have to follow them!”  
“No we don’t!” she said. “We can’t just enter the office like that, we already risked earlier! And what you’re doing here, anyway?”  
“I saw them near the elevators, and decided to follow them for a while, to see if I could discover something” she admitted, “I didn’t think i would have crashed into you… quite literally.”  
Aoi smiled: “Same idea, I saw them while I was heading home. And speaking of that, better to call it a night.”  
“Yeah, I have to talk to my brother! And Touko-chan too!”  
“What? No, you can’t!”  
“Why not? They have the right to know!”  
“To know what, exactly?” she asked. “We saw them getting back into their office, that’s all.”  
“And don’t you think that’s suspicious?”  
“It is, but it could be a lot of things. They could be working late…”  
“...again.”  
Aoi sighed: “Listen. I want to know the truth as much as you. Naegi-kun and Fukawa-chan are my friends and I don’t want them to suffer. That’s why we can’t say anything yet. We don’t have any evidence of… cheating, right now” she said. It was horrible to say it loud.  
But Komaru wasn’t having it: “To me this is more than enough, as well as the other nights they had to stay in office and the rumors that are spreading around the whole Foundation!”  
“Komaru I feel you, really. But… not everything is black or white, you know?”  
“What do you mean?”  
“I mean that you’re still very young, and you can’t see all the shades of grey that situations like this may have” she explained. “I want to know the truth, but we need solid proof before talking to Fukawa-chan and your brother, okay? What if we’re wrong and we make them fight over nothing? We risk to make them break up because we made assumptions.”  
“Oh… I didn’t think about that…”  
Aoi smiled and stood up, gently pushing Komaru toward the entrance: “Come on, let’s go home… tomorrow we’ll think of a plan or something.”

The next morning.  
Aoi slept quite well, all things considered. She guessed nightmares would not leave her alone, but luckily nothing really came. Or, if it came, it didn’t leave a mark once she woke up.  
...okay, _something_ actually came. Well, _someone_.  
_That chat with Kimura-chan was intense. REALLY intense._  
So she strode with determination and hunger towards the cafeteria. As always, she wanted to start her day gorging herself on donuts and other delicious things. But mostly donuts.  
_Okay, time to… wait, what? What is happening here?_  
She had just opened the door and immediately she spotted something she didn’t like: at her usual table, there was a very distraught Naegi. He looked terrible, with puffy eyes. To her it looked like Death was asking his number to know when to come and collect his soul.  
_Don’t be melodramatic._  
She approached him, wary: “Hey, Naegi-kun. Is everything… alright?”. She realized the stupidity of her question the moment it left her mouth.  
“Oh. Hi, Asahina-san. Well, I think it’s pretty clear how I feel right now. Is it not?”.  
“Yeah, I must admit it is. And… why?”.  
He sighed, apparently not too keen to tell. Then he spat it out: “You see, last night at dinner… we had a little… discussion”.  
“What kind of discussion?”.  
“Komaru… she told me she saw Kirigiri-san and Togami-kun entering the office. Alone. At least she didn’t do it in front of her”.  
…  
…  
…  
…  
_That damned little brat. Didn’t she agree to keep quiet about that?  
To be honest, she didn’t. She never said “Oh, you mighty and wise Asahina-san! You’re absolutely right and I should never ever tell that to my brother and my best friend!”. But I thought I convinced her. It seems I’ll need to double check, next time._  
“I’m… I’m sorry. I tried to tell her to refrain from that, but…”.  
“You did?”.  
“We were together when we saw them. I swear I didn’t want to let you know this way, it’s still too early to decide they’re having an affair behind yours and Fukawa-chan’s backs”.  
“Why were you together?”.  
“We had the same idea”.  
“Which was?”.  
“...tailing them. To be sure, you know!”. She said this last thing to lighten his mood, but she knew it wouldn’t work. She had to try nonetheless.  
“I see”. As she imagined, it didn’t work. He was majorly depressed.  
And then she realized: where the hell was Komaru? She usually had breakfast with her brother, Kyouko and all the merry band. Nowhere to be seen.  
_Crap. Tell me she isn’t doing what I think she’s doing!_  
She bolted to the exit, leaving a distressed Naegi behind.  
_Crap crap crap crap. Faster, faster. What would Sakura say if she saw you running this slowly?_  
And, as fate would have it, there she was.  
Komaru Naegi was slowly opening the door to Touko Fukawa’s apartment.  
_I’m lucky, I wasn’t exactly keen on running down to the archives._  
“What the hell are you thinking?” she shouted while grabbing her arm.  
“What? Asahina-san? Let me go, you’re hurting me!”. She let go, it wasn’t her intention to hurt her. Yet.  
“Were you going to tell Fukawa-chan too? Don’t you think you did enough damage yesterday?”.  
“Damage? What damage?”.  
“Have you seen your brother? He’s on the verge of tears back in the cafeteria. It wouldn’t surprise me if he didn’t sleep at all!”.  
“R-Really?”.  
“Really. Or do I look like I’m lying?”. No, she didn’t. She was too furious to be lying.  
“I didn’t mean to…”.  
“The road to Hell is paved with good intentions. You better be more careful from now on!”.  
“Who’s barking like a rabid dog?” a new voice asked, taking them both by surprise.  
Of course it was Fukawa, looking quizzically at them.  
_The timing, Fukawa-chan, the timing._  
It wasn’t really her fault, honestly. She would usually go to her office around that hour, and it wasn’t weird she heard all that fuss while unlocking her door.  
“A-Asahina? Komaru? What are you doing here?”  
The Swimmer looked at Komaru, who looked away in shame.  
_Now, of all the moments? Are you really leaving this burden on me?_  
Silence. Yes, she was really leaving that burden on her.  
Aoi sighed.  
“Fukawa-chan… we need to talk.”

The mood at their table at the cafeteria was the lowest since the Tragedy, in Aoi’s opinion.  
Naegi-kun was still trying to keep some composure, but he was an open book to almost anyone, and they know something was very wrong when he was this quiet; Fukawa-chan went straight to the archives, after a long, very long talk: Aoi tried to keep her calm and explained everything that happened, but she was also very clear about the fact both her and Komaru never saw anything that could be used as evidence of an affair between Togami and Kyouko.  
_The only good thing about leaving me dealing with Fukawa-chan was being able to prevent her from locking herself in her apartment_ Aoi thought, glaring at Komaru; the latter was still silent and refusing to look at her or at her brother, probably finally understanding the consequences of her actions.  
_You had good intentions, but sometimes it's not enough._  
Even Hagakure was quiet, probably feeling unable to cheer anyone.  
“What’s happening here? You look like you just went to a funeral.”  
_Seriously, both you and Fukawa-chan have a terrible timing._  
Everyone turned toward the voice, that was obviously Togami’s. Kyouko was behind him, looking at them as if they were suspects in one of her cases. As they approached the table, Komaru stood up: “I’ll go check on Touko-chan” and ran to the cafeteria’s exit.  
“Why does she want to check on Touko? What happened?” the ex Scion asked, but everyone ignored him. Makoto stood up too: “I’ll be in the office if anyone needs me. Too much work to do. You know, all that work you two so kindly left on my desk because you’re too busy bickering like kids all the time.”  
And so he went, leaving the ex Scion and the Detective quite shocked.  
_When Makoto Naegi becomes sarcastic, you know you did something very wrong._  
“I’ll go too, I have stuff to do… I suppose” she said, leaving the table. She often wondered what exactly her branch was supposed to do, but it’s hard to tell when your boss is never around.  
“Hagakure, stop looking so disgusted at me! What’s your problem?”  
“You disappointed me, Togamicchi. You and Kirigiri-chi both! You should be ashamed!”  
_Wow, pretty sure I never saw Hagakure-kun this angry. This is a new level of low you two have reached._  
While exiting the cafeteria, Aoi quickly glanced at Kyouko and Togami: they looked genuinely confused, and even two good actors like them couldn’t make up such dumbfounded expressions on the fly.  
_Did… did we really misunderstand the whole situation?_  
Their faces said yes, but the doubts still poked her at the back of her mind.  
Without anything else to say, she went to her office.

“What… what exactly happened?”  
“Hell if I know.”  
“This is the second time you don’t know something, Kirigiri. I’m starting to worry that your title may not suit you anymore… Hinata may take your place, he was a decent detective while on Jabberwock.”  
One pissed glare of hers and Togami finally shut his mouth.  
_Something is going on, but I don’t know what. And it annoys me greatly._  
“Great, now Touko doesn't answer the phone! Something really happened but apparently we don’t have the right to know it.”  
“Or maybe we should know it already, at least according to them,” Kyouko said, scratching her chin with one hand. Byakuya pouted: “Yeah, well, too bad we are completely oblivious to whatever is happening here.”  
“And that’s why we'll go back to our old habits of solving mysteries” she smirked, “except for Naegi-kun’s presence. And I’ll show you who’s too old to be a detective, Mr. ‘I used to have over four billion dollars worth of personal funds’.”  
Togami growled. Kyouko’s smirk grew.  
_Another win for me._

The mood during lunch was, if possible, even more gloomy.  
Naegi barely touched his bento, and Komaru had to literally force Touko to eat something.  
_And to think she made so much progress getting rid of her old bad habits…_  
Hagakure was apparently the only one capable to eat something in a situation like that… but then again, it’s Hagakure she was talking about.  
Aoi sighed, and looked at her donuts box. She ate just one. She wasn’t really able to eat her beloved treat when she was this anxious.  
_Tutturù!_  
A happy trill from her phone informed Aoi of a new text message. She quickly glanced at the phone and smiled at Seiko Kimura’s very dorky attempt at asking what she thought of their previous night’s very hot chat.  
_Oh, we should talk about it in person, you know!_  
She giggled, but stopped abruptly once she remembered where she was.  
_Dumb me..._  
Her brief moment of happiness made her feel very guilty, even though it didn’t make sense. She wasn’t the source of her friend’s trouble, nor it was her crush on Kimura, but given the situation it was hard for her to not feel bad about it.  
_You’re sitting here being happy while your friends are suffering, what kind of person are you?!_  
The kind of person that cares deeply for the people she loves and would do anything to help them, Sakura would have said. She smiled again, this time with a small hint of pain. She still missed her so deeply, and more than often she wondered how it would have been to have her there at the Future Foundation…  
“Oh, fuck!”  
Komaru’s not exactly classy exclamation dragged her out of her sad thoughts.  
“Wha… what’s the matter, Komaru? Since when you’re so vulgar?” Naegi asked her sister, only to look at Touko. The latter just looked away, pretending to know nothing about her best friend’s new spicy and expanded vocabulary.  
The younger Naegi stomped her foot: “I’m tired of sitting here all sad, trying to force-feed Touko-chan!”  
“H-Hey, it’s not my f-fault my stomach’s in a knot!”  
“We need to do something!”  
“And what do you want to do, sis? Hire a detective and follow them around? Oh, wait.”  
_The sarcasm is strong in you, young Naegi padawan._  
Komaru was taken aback by her brother’s harsh reply, but she didn’t give up: “W-well, Asahina-chan said we would have thought about it! So, let’s do it! Think of a plan or something!”  
“What? Me?!”  
_Your habit of throwing responsibility at me is starting to get on my nerves, Komaru._  
Everyone in the room was looking at her, hoping for an idea.  
“Well… following them again is out of the question” Aoi mumbled, mostly to herself, “at this point I’m pretty sure they suspect of me spying on them.”  
“It’s Kyouko Kirigiri you’re talking about. She definitely knows.”  
Naegi-kun was sadly right. “Well, we don’t have so many options left. Confronting them about it is also useless, they’re good liars when they want” he went on, poking at his food with the chopsticks. “If they can make a perfect poker face while playing cards, they can surely do it now.”  
“What about hiding in your office?” Komaru proposed. “You can let us in, we will hide inside and wait for them and then-”  
“And then they’ll make up lies about why they’re there, as your brother just said” Touko blurted. “Then they’ll start q-questioning our presence there, turning us into the ones in the wrong.”  
“Oh, hey…”  
“Well, we’ll tell him Makoto let us enter the office!”  
“Ehm…”  
“That’s the answer to how we entered it, not why we’re there!”  
“You guys, can you just-”  
“That’s not important, we already have proof to show to their faces!”  
“No, we don’t have any-”  
“CAN YOU GUYS SHUT UP FOR A SECOND AND LET ME TALK?!”  
Everyone fell silent. A pissed Hagakure wasn’t an everyday occurrence.  
_And two times in a day, even? Well, there’s a first time for everything I suppose..._  
“W-what you wanted to say, Hagakure-kun?”  
“Thanks, Naegicchi! My idea is simple: why don’t we use the surveillance cameras?”  
His suggestion was met by a bunch of shocked expressions.  
“Since… since when you have such good ideas?”  
“Wow, you’re hurting my feelings, Fukawa-chi!”  
Naegi tried to calm everyone down: “Thank you, Hagakure-kun, but I doubt that’s doable. Do you really think the janitors will just let us watch the cameras as if it was normal?”  
Hagakure smiled: “Oh, don’t worry about that, Naegicchi!”

“I can’t believe it really worked.”  
Turns out, one of the two janitors was a big fan of Fukawa’s books. So one handshake (and her signature on his copy of So Lingers the Ocean) later, they had complete access to the surveillance cameras room for at least one hour.  
“I wonder how did you know about his l-love for my works” the Writer muttered, looking suspiciously at Hagakure: “Oh, I often had coffee breaks with them, I even read their future in my crystal ball!”  
“Let me guess, 30% chance of being right?”  
“You underestimate my powers, Fukawa-chi! This time it was 50%!”  
“Wow, we got a badass over here…”  
“Please, don’t talk like a meme Fukawa-chan” Aoi snickered. Only her silence answered.  
“So, are we gonna take a look at these babies or what?”.  
“I must say… I’m afraid of what I’m going to see” Naegi murmured “What if… what if we obtain the proof we’re seeking?”.  
_I just can hope that’s not the case, Naegi-kun. Because, if it is…_  
Asahina shook her head, not wanting to even imagine the consequences  
The situation was potentially disastrous and she didn’t want that ending for her two friends. They didn’t deserve it. They didn’t deserve a stab in their back so vicious and cruel.  
_Let’s stay positive. After all, it really can’t be… right?_  
She didn’t have the guts to say _yes_.  
“Okay, I guess it’s time to find out the truth. Naegicchi, Fukawa-chi: are you ready?”.  
Aoi was torn between worry for the video and the question “Who the hell put Hagakure in charge? Didn’t we agree, once upon a time, to never let him take the steering wheel?”.  
Whatever. It didn’t matter who started it. What mattered was that they were going to find out if their worst fears were true or not.  
“As ready as I can ever be, Hagakure-kun. Go ahead”.  
“I-I’m… ready”.  
Neither sounded really ready. But she guessed it was inevitable. She was nervous, it was obvious those two would be scared out of their minds.  
“I’m gonna go, then. Let’s do a countdown: ten… nine… eight…”.  
“Just press the damn button!”.  
And he pressed it.  
The first image they saw was innocent enough: Togami was seated at his table, seemingly working on the computer. Kirigiri was nowhere to be seen.  
_At least we didn’t open on a reenactment of Deep Throat._  
The scene stayed the same for a handful of minutes. Boredom started to rear its ugly head.  
Then…  
The one and only Kyouko Kirigiri entered the stage. She strutted behind him and made the gesture to shout, making him flinch visibly.  
One thing she and her friends noted almost immediately: there was no audio. Her scream looked strong enough, but no corresponding sound was found.  
“Why… why can’t we hear anything?” Komaru asked. A “Uh-oh” from Hagakure was all they needed to hear.  
_Well well well. It seems someone is being himself._  
“...what did you do, Hagakure-kun?”. Naegi sounded tired while posing the question, as if he didn’t want to face the Clairvoyant’s umpteenth mess.  
“I… I think I know why there’s no sound”.  
“Go figure. And why?”.  
“You see, me and Kizakura-chi and the Remnants made a bet some days ago. We tossed an empty can from a far distance trying to hit Togami’s chair, but Idon’trememberwho managed to smash the camera and damage it. It wasn’t as empty as we thought, so probably some of its liquid spilled on it… after spilling on the chair”.  
“Oh, now I understand why he was so pissed off. He tirelessly ranted for half an hour about _the unsanitary and certainly ghastly poor people’s beverage_ which contaminated his suit. And his ass”. Only Fukawa could be so nonchalant while talking about Togami’s ass. “What I don’t understand” she continued “is: why didn’t they change it? I mean, I think someone reported that a security camera wasn’t working properly. And this thing happened… what, four days ago? Five?”.  
“I seem to remember your _hard knight_ having his hissy fit five days ago” Aoi snickered. She knew that this was her secret nickname for him and that she used it sparingly and never in public.  
The red-faced Touko didn’t reply, although her gaze towards her was murderous (in more than one sense, Aoi thought).  
“Okay. But the question still stands: why do we have a banged up feed? You don’t need a doctorate in quantum physics to change the camera”.  
“Must I remind you who’s in charge? Kyosuke ‘My Pockets are Sealed’ Munakata”.  
“Really? But I heard he bought a Jacuzzi for himself and his harem!”.  
“That’s because he’s the boss, Lover #1 and Lover #2 are… well, his lovers and they use their privilege as they wish. We poor employees don’t matter in the slightest”.  
“I don’t care if our esteemed white-haired-samurai-wannabe-vicechairman is a cheapskate with overactive hormones! What I care about is that we can’t hear what they’re saying in the video! And I demand to know if what they’re whispering right now is something treacherous!”. The Writer was understandably annoyed by the detour about Munakata and tried to bring the conversation back on the right track.  
“You’re right, Fukawa-san” Naegi responded “but right now we can’t really understand what they’re doing on that screen. If only someone hadn’t played with half-full cans of soda…”. His irritation, directed at Hagakure, amused Asahina who thought he deserved it for once.  
And to be perfectly honest, she was asking herself what flash of genius hit his usually empty head when he brought up the surveillance system.  
_Once in a lifetime, Dread-chi. Once in a lifetime and never ever again._  
“So… what do we do now? We aren’t learning anything” Komaru timidly said. The silence that answered her question was disheartening.  
“You do you” Touko bellowed in a sudden burst of rage “I’m going to ask them directly! Don’t stop me!”. And when she pronounced me, Asahina and the others saw a bolt of thunder scurrying out of the room.  
“Oh! My! God! If she sees them like this she’s gonna kill them both. Maybe she’ll make them kill each other! We can’t let that happen!” was Naegi’s desperate plea. So they hurried after her, trying their damnedest to defuse her with words. Beating Sakura Oogami in a match with one hand tied behind your back would have been simpler.  
“Fukawa-san, no!” Naegi pleaded with all his might and his voice.  
“Fukawa-san YES!” she snapped back, making sure that the people of Kuala Lumpur (Malaysia, as you probably know reaaaaaaally far from Tokyo) heard her really well.  
Their mad dash led them to the most obvious of places: the front door of the 14th branch. It got demolished by a mighty kick from Touko Fukawa, in that moment better known as The Cheater Eater.  
And there they were. Kyouko Kirigiri and Byakuya Togami.  
Together, as always in the last few days.  
But just not how Aoi and company thought they would find them.  
Because…  
You see…  
It’s not easy to explain…  
No, that’s not true. It’s very easy to explain.  
Kyouko Kirigiri and Byakuya Togami were playing like two kindergarten children.  
She had a bucket of water in hand and many others were scattered on the floor. He brandished a giant Super Soaker.  
Both were drenched from head to toe.  
Aoi looked at her friends in disbelief, but not as much as Naegi and Touko. She was pretty sure she’d never seen those two with such shocked expressions on their faces.  
_I mean, I can’t blame them…_  
“Wha… what is happening here? And why are you two drenched AND WHY THERE’S WATER EVERYWHERE?!”  
If an angry Hagakure was a rare sight, an angry Naegi was even rarer. And as far as Aoi knew, Togami has been the only one capable of making the ex Ultimate Luckster lose his patience, back when they were imprisoned inside the Kibougamine.  
_It’s nice to know you like to hold your Guinness results tight, Togami-kun._  
“We… can explain” the ex Scion said, trying to pull his glasses up his nose. And failing, because his face was so wet they kept falling down. It was honestly amusing to see.  
“Is… is that a water gun, Byakuya?”  
_Uh oh, seems like Fukawa-chan is ready to go to war._  
“That’s not a normal water gun, it’s a Super Soaker Wars Shot Blast, and it cost me a fortune off Darazon” he replied, proudly holding the toy gun. “I called her Vera.”  
“...so I couldn’t get a pet because ‘it’s too much trouble’, but YOU CAN BUY A GIANT-ASS WATER GUN OFF INTERNET, GIVE IT A FEMALE NAME AND PLAY WITH ANOTHER KID?!”  
“It-t’s-not-”  
“Hey, I’m not a kid!”  
“You’re drenched from head to toe, holding two buckets with water EVERYWHERE - and I don’t know how you’ve managed to spare all the computers - and you dare to say you’re not a kid?”  
Naegi’s tone was relatively calm compared to Touko’s. Yet he managed to make the Super Detective Kyouko Kirigiri bow her head in shame.  
_The power you hold, Naegi-kun._  
“How… how did you even manage to hide the buckets here?” the Luckster said, turning himself right and left and trying to not put his feet in the water. “Under the desks? Hanged them on the ceiling? HOW? And knowing you I’m sure there are more buckets hidden somewhere, am I right?”  
Kyouko nodded, slowly, still looking at everything except Naegi’s face.  
“How. Just tell me how you managed to do it all alone. I know you’re resourceful, but this is too much even for you.”  
She gulped. “I… uh… have asked Hinata to lend me a hand.”  
“You… asked Hinata?”  
“I actually paid him,” Kyouko admitted, and looked at her left. Everyone followed her gaze: Hajime Hinata was sitting at one of the desks, smiling and waving at them.  
“Yo!”  
Aoi quizzically waved back at him, then glanced back at Kyouko and Togami.  
_Wow, this is… a lot to unpack. You two reached a new level of childishness, and I don’t know if I should be impressed or embarrassed for you. I almost wished it was really a story of cheating. Almost. I don’t want to see Naegi-kun and Fukawa-chan distressed like that ever again._  
“How can you explain this?” she asked, pointing at the wet floor, and the buckets, and… the water gun. “You said you could explain, Togami-kun. So, go on. We’re listening.”  
The ex Scion briefly widened his eyes, before exchanging a nervous look with Kyouko. “We… hm… how can I say it…”  
“With words, Byakuya. You know how to use them very well.”  
Touko’s snarky comment made him even more nervous.  
_You know you’re in danger when Fukawa-chan doesn’t stutter._  
“We were just… testing our skills.”  
“To see who’s the best between us” Kyouko chimed in.  
“Yeah, of course. I mean, who wouldn’t turn their office into a cheap indoor pool just to prove their skills to the others” Naegi commented, in the most flat yet sarcastic voice tone you could ever imagine. Aoi was having a very hard time not bursting into laughter.  
“And we thought you were cheating on us” he whispered, but loud enough to be heard by the two supposed adults: “Hey, what are you talking about?”  
But Naegi wasn’t listening anymore. He turned to the door and said: “You know what, I’ll take the rest of the day off. You can finish all my paperwork - yes, all the documents you both left at my desk over the last weeks - because you’re so skilled you’ll finish everything in no time, I’m sure. After all, you two are THE BEST.”  
Oh, their faces. Their expressions were priceless.  
“I’ll join you, if you don’t mind” Touko added, following him. “I d-definitely need a break and a beer.”  
“It’s 11AM” Aoi told them, but Touko shrugged: “Pretty sure it’s already dinner time, somewhere.”  
And with that, the Luckster and the Writer left the room.  
Aoi looked back at Togami and Kyouko, completely shocked by the turns of the events; Hagakure and Komaru joined Hinata at the desk, the former sharing a bag of chips he was hiding who knows where.  
“Asahina, what was Naegi talking about? Why was he thinking we were cheating on them?”  
The Swimmer inhaled and then looked at Togami: “So you really don’t know? Where did you live in the last month?”  
“Here?”  
The temptation of punching him was hard, but she learned to tame it. Or, to be honest, she would have turned him into a punching ball ages ago.  
Well, punching was out of the question… but she didn’t want him to get by this easily: “It doesn’t seem that way, since you two don’t even see or hear what’s happening around you. Your partners’ feelings and concerns, for starters. Weren’t you the intelligent ones? Where are the almighty Super Detective and the magniloquent Super Scion? Because I certainly don’t see them in front of me right now, you know”.  
They were ashamed enough to stay silent. She also added the lowered head.  
“How did you miss it?” she insisted “How didn’t you even remotely realize that this kind of behavior was going to be suspicious? Everyone here at the Foundation knows you don’t have an exactly friendly relationship, but when you were seen together so closely one was the foregone conclusion in their minds. Who would have thought otherwise? The two mega geniuses I’m looking at, it looks like. Sometimes I wonder what Naegi and Fukawa saw in you…”.  
_Now THAT was a low blow. But you know what? I don’t care. They deserve this and much more._  
Asahina’s rant went on for a full twenty minutes. Twenty minutes of reprimands, thinly-veiled insults and everything she could come up with. The other people left in the middle, so at the end of it only the three of them were still there.  
“...so, do you understand now?” she puffed.  
“No, but….” Togami started to rebut. Kyouko silenced him with a slap on the head, telling him to shut up.  
_It’s a little heartwarming that at least one of you knows her role in this mess. Faith restored in Kyouko-chan: 0.000000002%._  
“Whatever, I’ve done my part. Now it’s up to you”.  
“What do you mean, Asahina?”.  
“...”.  
_My dear blonde heir, why are you… you? Couldn’t have you been born as a lobster?_  
No, she wasn’t going to explain it all for the second time. She had a life and interests and maybe someone who was waiting for her.  
They’ll figure it out. Or not, it wasn’t her problem.

Some time later.  
Aoi Asahina entered the cafeteria whistling. She had a WONDERFUL night with Kimura.  
They chatted a lot. In person. In the Swimmer’s bedroom.  
And then…  
Let’s just say it felt really, really good.  
So her spirits were sky high that morning. Everybody noticed that when she sat at their usual table: “Good morning, Asahina-san! I see you’re in an excellent mood today”.  
“Indeed I am, Naegi-kun”.  
“May I ask you why?”.  
“No. It’s a private matter, if you don’t mind. Maybe some other time, not now”.  
“Oh, sure. No problem. I’m just happy to see you practically sparkling with joy”.  
“Thank you. So, tell me this… how is your situation with Kyouko-chan?”. He and his significant other exchanged a glance and she motioned him to answer in her stead.  
“Better. I wouldn’t say all is right and good, but I can’t stay mad at her for too long. She asked for my forgiveness in every possible way and the remorse for the pain she caused me was so written all over her face I hadn’t the strength to stay angry”. Aoi caught the glimpse of a smile on Kirigiri.  
“Are you saying she’s back in your bed?”.  
“Yes. Her exile to the sofa lasted long enough”.  
“If you’re sure of your decision…”.  
“I am. In matters like this, I know she’s the one who needs help and understanding. And while I hurt quite a lot, I can’t blame her that much for something she did out of sheer lack of awareness. I’m sure she wouldn’t have, had she known”.  
“I wouldn’t have” she confirmed, as serious as ever. No, even more serious. She really meant that and it was a beautiful thing in Aoi’s eyes. Probably she simply got carried away too much by her rivalry with Togami and took things a little… a lot too far.  
And speaking of Togami…  
“I guess mercy is not something you have in common with Naegi-kun, Fukawa-chan” Asahina said with a wicked smile, to which Touko responded in kind: “You’re guessing right. He’s still making the acquaintance of my study’s couch. And since it’s too small for him, he sleeps all curdled up. I’m ecstatic to see him in the morning, when he limps towards the bathroom with a hand on his back while moaning like a petulant child”.  
“Hey, I’m here you know!” he lamented, turning to face her. His motion was very stiff and a subtle complaint escaped his lips.  
“I see that you’re here, my dear. Look how much I care”.  
“But… but…”.  
“Need I remind you of the terms of surrender? I have free reins to punish you until I deem it enough. That day isn’t today, it won’t be tomorrow and neither will be the day after tomorrow”.  
_Oh kami, she’s evil. Truly, really evil._  
“I hope I’ll never do something that upsets you, Fukawa-chan”.  
“Try and see how it goes”.  
“No thank you. You don’t even love me the way you love him. I like being alive”.  
“You’re a smart girl”.  
“Fukawa-san” Naegi interjects “Don’t you think you’re being a little too cruel? I mean, they didn’t want to cause such ruckus after all…”.  
“Always the same sensitive kid. You need to grow up and start acting like a ballsy man”.  
“I wouldn’t say that, it’s not a matter of being ballsy or not. It’s just that I think they don’t deserve this much, that’s all”.  
“We’re still here…” the two culprits meekly said, but all they got was a shush and an epic remark from Naegi: “Please, adults are talking. Stay quiet in your box and splash each other, will you?”.  
_Did I already say I find him almost… sexy when he’s so sarcastic? If I didn’t swing the other way… well, Kyouko-chan could have competition._  
The discussion went on for a little longer, with the two arguing over who was right.  
_Mh. Is it me or they’re acting exactly like them?_  
She wanted to point it out, but a part of her brain screamed, literally screamed, to stay put and to not meddle. The screaming diva lost the fight: “You know, Naegi-kun and Fukawa-chan… you sure remind me of someone…”.  
They both stared at her, dumbfounded. His comment? “Yeah, but at least we’re dry”.  
“Fair enough” she conceded.  
“If you want, Vera can remedy that” Togami quipped, ill aware of his situation. He looked like a Hollywood star on the red carpet, thinking it was his moment to shine in the sky.  
The whole group stopped in its tracks. Then an unanimous “Go to hell and stay there!” rang in the hall, earning them the looks of all their bewildered colleagues.  
“Oh c’mon, you all bemoan that I never joke around and when I do it’s a chorus of insults. Make up your minds, plebs”.  
“...please, for the love of all that’s holy, SHUT. UP”.  
Another morning in the chaotic lives of the six survivors began, a morning filled with stupid banter and ridiculous shenanigans. So nothing new for them.


End file.
